Not Who I Thought

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted something. Sorry. A lot has been going through my brain. Part of it doesn’t even have to do with me.

Lets start at the beginning – May 6th 2007. My 24th birthday and the day that I was told my daddy was in the hospital. I think it was that day that I met my sister-in-law Crystal for the first time. Her and my brother had been married for a couple of years I think. I didn’t go to their wedding. Me and my brother didn’t talk much back then. Don’t ask my why cause I can’t remember.

It was the first time that all five of my dad’s kids were in a room together in a LONG time. Me and Johnathan have a half-brother and two half sisters. I haven’t seen one sister since then and my half-brother a hand full of times. My other sister I talked to every once in a while until recently. I’m trying to fix that. Point is – Crystal had never met me and I was wary of her I guess. I wondered what my brother had told her about me. On May 9th 2007 what my brother might or might not have told her didn’t matter any more – my dad’s wish was for me and Johnathan to fix whatever was wrong between us and be a family again. Later that evening he passed away.

Fast forward to July 6th 2007 – about two months time – Crystal, my best friend at the time Chrissy, and I spent the night at my house together because the next day I was getting married and Johnathan was walking me down the aisle. I don’t remember how it happened or what was said but me and Johnathan fixed whatever was wrong between us because that’s what daddy wanted. Crystal and I soon became best friends and did everything together.

When I was having a hard day or was upset – she was the first one I would call or text. If I wanted to go to the mall she was the first one I would ask to go with me. Her and my brother were trying to have a baby but found out they couldn’t so they talked about adoption and about fostering a child. When she found out I was pregnant she was so excited for me. After Keira was born and I went back to work Crystal watched her a few days a week and Keira loved her and loved Lilly their Yorkie and her Uncle Johnathan. I was glad they got to see her so much. Once Crystal started school full-time she couldn’t keep Keira anymore – so she went to daycare full-time but I made sure that her Aunt Crystal and Uncle Johnathan saw her as much as they could or as much as they wanted.

September 9th 2012 – my mom’s birthday party at her house after church. Johnathan and Crystal were there and so was our Aunt Teresa (my mom’s sister) and my step dad Larry. We had burgers and hot dogs and sat around and talked about what everyone was up to and what the future plans were. We had a good time.

September 21st 2012 – about two weeks later – I missed a phone call from my brother at 10:30 at night. I was tired and half asleep and told myself I would call him back in the morning. That never happened.

September 22nd 2012 – My brother calls me again around 9pm and I answer cause me and the kids just got home. Once Keira is in her bed and Seth’s in the shower we can talk. We talk for over an hour. My phone dies, I run in the house and plug it up and call him back to talk for about another hour I’d guess.

I can’t sleep that night. I get maybe four hours of sleep. The next day my eyes hurt and I’m angry, hurt and betrayed. Long story short – Crystal left. No warnings, no signs – just left and took just about everything with her. I had talked to her just two days before on Facebook and texted her about picking something up for me at Ikea and bringing it to me the next time she was up here. (They had moved back towards Atlanta). She didn’t act like anything was wrong and I think I actually even spoke to her on the phone that week.

I was angry that she had hurt my brother so badly. Mad because she didn’t give any signs or warnings and because she just refused to try to fix anything. Then she blocked us all from her Facebook account and has now apparently deleted it. I’m sure she has opened another one though – she’s addicted to it.

I was upset for about two days and then I was over it. Or so I thought. Jeremy mentioned something about friends one day in the car – I think on the way to church. I thought about it for a minute and realized – I no longer had a best friend. I wasn’t just mad at Crystal for what she had done to my brother but I was also mad at her because of what she’d done to me. Selfish – I know.

I had thought that I could trust her, that she would never lie or hurt me. I had this crazy thought that she would always be there. Then one day she wasn’t and she’s not going to be ever again. I saw something the other day and I thought “Oh – I have to tell Crys—” I couldn’t tell her anything anymore.

I’m no longer angry at her – I feel sorry for her. I’ve prayed for her and I’ve cried for her. She will never again find anyone who will treat her as good as my brother did. He never told her no. She is not the person that I thought she was and she is certainly not the person she portrayed to be.

Crystal – if you are reading this I will miss you – even though it may not seem like it by what I’ve said. Even though I keep telling myself I shouldn’t – I will. You were my best friend and like a sister to me. I will never understand why you’ve done what you have but I’m sure you have your reasons.


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