After Friday night’s dinner we went home and crashed. Keira only got up twice and was up at 7am per the norm. Jeremy had to work that morning so we had an hour or so together before he had to leave. I used to always fix a big breakfast on Saturdays but the days that Jeremy has to work we just eat cereal or muffins together.
Now – first – when we have cookouts for birthday’s or anything at my mom’s house it usually goes like this: get all the food together once everyone gets there and start grilling! Then while everything is grilling we usually sit around and talk or play badminton. (I know I am going to have to bring Keira’s play pen next weekend because the girl hates grass, you’d think you chopped her pinky toe off when she even remotely touches it. She freaks out – A LOT. You should have seen her the first time – I felt horrible.)
When the food finally gets done we assemble in a line and pack our plates full. Mom’s house used to be my grandmother’s house (her mom’s). It’s a small two bedroom one bath house and there is no central a/c…mom has window units during the summer and in the winter she uses heaters. Needless to say that’s why we stay outside and I like it that way – except for the bugs. I have EIGHT mosquito bites on my feet from being in my cousin’s grass that my mom and step dad were cutting the other day…(I will have to buy bug spray that’s safe for Keira next weekend.)
Now to my Aunt Teresa. She will be coming in on the 7th, visiting extended family in Alabama on the 8th and her and my mom will be going to church with Jeremy, me and the kids on the 9th and then going back to my mom’s for a cook out for my mom’s birthday. Hence all the “next weekend” talk.
I usually hate to talk on the phone – but if it’s with Aunt Teresa or with mom or with a friend I haven’t seen/talked to in a long time – I could talk for a while. As is what happened Saturday. I sat in the floor of my freshly cleaned bathroom while Seth was playing outside and Keira took her two-hour nap and talked to my Aunt Teresa for over an hour and a half. We talked about family and friends and problems and solutions.
She helped me see that not all people will be there for you and not all people will get along with you. She also helped me realize that the longer a problem persists, the harder it will be to fix – especially if that problem just keeps getting repeated and if it refuses to see reason. She also helped me realize that the way she and her siblings were raised and the way my mother raised me leaves us open to attacks. We were taught to be honest when asked a question and to be open with our opinions. Those things usually mean that all your cards are laid on the table and you have nothing left in your hand to fight with if it’s needed.
My father taught me something too – forgive past transgressions but never forget. Forgetting means that you also forget the pain that came along with it and the person that caused it. Remembering those things but loving those who did it (because you forgave) keeps you on your toes so it doesn’t happen again. If that person or those things continue to happen then you have proof of a pattern. Then – he said – you realize that those people/problems aren’t worth having in your life and to just move on from them. They/It will only bring you down further and that’s not good for you.
One of the things that I love about my Aunt Teresa (and there are lots) is that she is a very Godly woman. She can quote you any verse and tell you the passage right off the top of her head. I can rattle off verses but I couldn’t tell you where they were. My daddy was a preacher at one point too. Weird that I never went to church until I was 13 huh?
Anyway when ever I am having trouble with someone or something and I talk to my Aunt Teresa about it on the phone – she always prays with me before we say goodbye. She did this Saturday for a good five minutes and by good I mean GREAT! What she said and asked for me was exactly what I needed to hear and what I should have been saying for myself and my friends/family all along these past few months.
It made me realize that I need to fix things with a few close family members – I just don’t know how to go about that just yet. The longer I wait the harder it will be to fix. It also made me see though that some things are better left alone. Better to just erase that part out of my life as much as I can and be nice when I have to be because in the end – it’s not worth it to ponder over and figure out ways to try to fix it because I will just end up back in the same situation. Remember that pattern thing? Yeah….
Thank you Aunt Teresa for everything that you do for me and I can’t wait to see you next weekend and spend a day with you!!
Musings Of A Southerner 