I realize it’s been two weeks (EEK!) since I wrote a post. Things have just been a little – well….crappy lately.
I was talking to my mom the other day (yesterday actually) and told her this: I feel like I work my hardest and try to do better for myself and my family and it seems like I never get ahead. People who seem to do NOTHING get everything they want/need and that’s BS.
I mean, I see people who say that they are struggling because only one person in their marriage is working but yet they have expertly done nails and toes. Hell – I haven’t had my hair cut in almost six months because I don’t have the money to have it done and have you SEEN my eyebrows lately? Plucking them is not fun…I’d much rather have them ripped out with wax every two weeks but I don’t have the money for that either.
I’m still trying to pull together Keira’s birthday which – in all truth – I have nothing done. The venue is booked but not paid for and the photographer is booked too but not paid for. That’s $200 for both right there. Her cake and cupcakes are ordered. I need to get her invitations, I found the food platters I want and all the decorations I need. It just needs to come together which is kind of stressing me out.
Oh and – I am so completely thankful for Jeremy’s step mom and his dad (Mawmaw and Big Daddy). They keep Keira every once in a while so we can have a meal together without me worrying about feeding her first and my food getting cold. Do you know how awesome that is? I love her to death and miss her horribly but it’s nice to sit and actually eat warm food once in a while. My mom loves Keira to death too but doesn’t get to see her that often cause she works a lot. She comes by the house some too (sorry about the mess mom). I don’t know what we would do without Mawmaw, Big Daddy and Neeah! You guys are awesome grandparents!
Anyway – I feel like I can’t get ahead for nothing. There are two doctor bills that need to be paid because my insurance or Keira’s insurance didn’t cover stuff and that my FSA won’t cover since they were last years bills. There are three other bills that could be completely paid off too and everything else is just regular bills that I can’t really do anything about. Like water, cable, electric etc. Those don’t worry me as much cause they are necessities.
I think I will be less stressed when Seth starts back to school because instead of paying $215 for daycare I will be paying about $185. It’s only a difference of $30 a week but that could go towards those bills I mentioned. Seth wants to take his lunch again this year and needs a new lunch bag. Baseball is in the spring and we just got him a new glove so it will be broken in by then. Keira and Seth both need clothes. Seth because he’s growing out of them for school and Keira well because of the same thing. Babies grow fast and I realized we don’t have a lot of 9-12 month clothes for her. She can still wear some of her 0-3 month onesies!
So – when I was talking to my mom she said that she did the same thing when me and my brother were little. She worried about paying bills and dreamed about a business she could start and things she could do. She said that she should have spent more time with us instead. That we aren’t little forever. She said that she remembered holding our little faces in her hands and thinking “I need to remember this”.
Of course we cried. She said things will get better and I know they will – I just wish it was sooner rather than later.
And who knew my mom was so smart? 🙂