Passion and Disappointment

I have a ton of both of those….anyone want to take the disappointment for me?

I have this passion to do something for myself (business wise) but for some reason it never works out. First it was Crystal Event. I got maybe four weddings and a few parties in two seasons and then it just dropped into oblivion. No one wanted to hire anyone to plan anything. It was “I can do this on my own, thanks for the inspiration for everything though!”

Then – Pink Bird. I can NEVER get in touch with my “business partner” and she supposedly has gotten our business license but I can’t be sure. I have vendor’s lined up and ready for our first order – just waiting – but I can’t even get 30 people to “like” our page much less order anything. It’s a lot of disappointment to say the least.

I see a few friends who’s business’s have taken off seemingly without a hitch and I have to admit – I’m jealous. I’ve went home and cried to Jeremy about how their stuff works how they have some kind of magic touch and that I’m just a failure.

I post in Craigslist at least once a month (I know it should probably be more often) for event planning still but no dice. I’ve written up emails to send to companies to plan employee appreciation outings, holiday dinners ect. but I’m too afraid to send them. Stupid I know. People quit their jobs to throw themselves into the things they love to do and that’s great for them if they are able to but I just can’t. There are too many bills to pay and not enough money to go around if I just up and quit my job to pursue event planning full-time.

I could have taken a job writing for the paper in Walker County but I turned it down because I had Seth and then soon after found out I was pregnant. Who would watch the kids if I had to go out at 3 am for a story and Jeremy wasn’t home from his then 3rd shift job yet? No one. So I couldn’t have went and the story would have went to someone else. Anyone else would have killed for that job.

I write in my spare time – four stories in the works. I think about what I would want my shop to be like if I ever got to open one. It would have dresses for every occasion, shoes, jewelry, make up. Sounds amazing doesn’t it? Everything you’d need for a wedding or event in one little place and everything would be hand-made and/or local. I streamline my event planning papers and my charts for seating arrangements, guest lists, budgets and anything else I think I could trim down and make easier.

If I got paid for what I really wanted to do – I’d never dread getting out of bed in the morning. Isn’t that what everyone wants?



One thought on “Passion and Disappointment

  1. Your day will come, my darling. Keep on dreaming, keep on believing. I too, and almost every other human being alive have had dreams that have gone by the wayside because there were other things more deserving of time and attention. Husband, children, being able to stand on one’s own feet…..sickness and death of a parent……..they call it life. Life is what happens on the way to a dream. Yes, I have regrets but I don’t think I could live with myself if I had been selfish and thought only of MY dreams. My day too will come. In the meantime, I prefer to believe that I have been a small part of someone else realizing THEIR dream along the way. I believe in my dreams and will believe in yours too. Mom

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