How lovely. Keira will be four months old on the 18th of this month (we don’t do the weeks thing – I always hated that) and I have mastitis.

Monday morning I woke up with my left side hard as a rock – even after Keira nursed it was hard. I went on to work and pumped almost four ounces from that side and two from the other. My left side has always produced more milk than my right. A few hours later I started to feel dizzy and had a headache. My left ear started to hurt and so did my whole body – like I had done some kind of workout the day before kind of whole body hurt.

After lunch on Monday I started to get really cold. It was 78 in my office and I had a heater turned on my feet constantly. My boss ended up turning the air on because I was making the office hot. I then realized “Hey – I must have a fever.” I picked up Keira and met my SIL Crystal and Seth at her house. She said I was burning up. I took some ibuprofen and felt better.

Tuesday morning I woke up and didn’t feel any better. My left boob still hurt and my fever was back. Where my husband works is a doctor’s office that is free to any one who has insurance through his work. So I called into work and then called them to make an appointment. I had one at 11:20.

We arrived early so I could fill out paper work and such and when she called me back there they weighed me, took my blood pressure and my temperature. My blood pressure was normal (117/70) and my temp was 99.8. The lady doctor came in not long after and when I told her about my left side hurting and my symptoms she asked to see it. So I pulled my shirt down a bit and what do you know – big ol’ red patch on my left side and it was hot as fire.

She left the room and got an appointment for me at my OB’s office for 2:15 that same day. By the time I ate lunch with Jeremy and got down there and got called back my blood pressure went up to 135/80 and my temperature went up to 101.8. When they put me in the room I swear it was the shortest time I’ve ever had to wait. Sure enough with only looking at it for a second my OB and his nurse said it was mastitis.

I got an antibiotic and a pain med prescription. I am not the type to take pain medicine (except for headaches) because I just don’t want to. I didn’t even take them when I left the hospital with Keira. This morning I did break one in half and take it because it was just too much pain for me to deal with at work. I mean – it hurts to even pick something heavy up on that side. It’s ridiculous.

So here I am at work. I usually get about four or five ounces, sometimes six on my first pump at work and then three to four the next time and two ounces each time after that. First pump at work today – 3 ounces, second pump at work today – 2 ounces, THIRD pump – only an ounce and a fourth. I broke down crying in my closed off office. What’s wrong with me? I see Jeremy’s cousin’s wife pumping eight ounces every four hours and Jeremy’s brother’s wife apparently doesn’t have any problems nursing either so WHY ME????

I feel like a failure as a mom. I feel like I can’t provide what I need to for my child. I am not against formula feeding but I was hoping to only have to supplement her bottles once a day during the week since I wasn’t pumping enough. Now it looks like it will have to be a lot more than that. What if my milk is drying up because of the mastitis already? I’ve read that it can happen.

Anyway – back to work I go. Still crying – still mad at myself for not being able to provide for Keira what I wanted to.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s