Who peed in your kool-aid? (Day 128)

I can totally understand being ticked off at someone for a day or two if they said or did something that pissed me off – if it’s really bad a week is acceptable. In all seriousness though – don’t let it ruin you.

I’ve had people say things to me that hurt more than any physical pain they could have inflicted on me in that moment. I’d have rather had the physical pain. Those words will always be with me – never to be forgotten. I’ve never had anyone intentionally physically harm me. I’ve had a hand or two raised at me – and not by my mom or dad for punishment – but in anger from people not related to me. I dared them to go ahead and do it – to see what would happen next – but they didn’t. Good thing for them.

My dad and I had arguments, so have my mother and I, my brother, friends, co-workers etc. I’ve never had any of them hold a grudge against me or I against them – we always apologized later or sat down and talked about why we said the things we said and that was it. If we still disagreed then we disagreed – something like that isn’t going to change my friendship or relationship with them. They didn’t force their opinion on me and I didn’t force mine on them. Simple.

Take my friend Natalie. She’s German and when she started working where I worked – we didn’t get along. Before I knew it she was in a higher position than me and I didn’t like it (I had been there lots longer). Boss man knew we didn’t get along and he figured he would promote me – and put us in the same office together. Needless to say we got in more arguments about stupid things and I am pretty sure she would cuss me out in German under her breath. Maybe not though – who cares.

Long story short – we became good friends and are still friends to this day. She was planning my baby shower until her work told her they were sending her overseas for 4-6 weeks. We talked about our issues back then with each other and I learned that she says what she thinks and she learned that I am the type to usually keep my mouth shut to keep the peace. I try to anyway – some times I just can’t. Which leads me to the whole point.

I’ve said some things in the past about how certain people treat others around them – and honestly – it pisses me off. I don’t think that anyone really saw it until it started happening to them too. Then I knew I wasn’t going crazy and imagining things which made me feel better but at the same time I thought “What is your problem?” I found out somethings this weekend about some stuff that’s going down in the next week or so (I’m guessing on dates). Mainly – no one from our family is invited to this little baby shin dig thing.

My first thought – “What? Are you serious?” then it was – “I should have known” and then “It’s their loss, not mine.” My first thought was based on the fact that said individual cried and apologized for everything she’s said and done in the past when they found out I was pregnant too. I thought it would be better from then on out. I guess that was me looking for the rainbow when it was still raining. The I should have known thought came from the fact that even though said person apologized nothing ever changed. Their loss, not mine is pretty much defined. This means they won’t be getting anything from other family members (I’m guessing – I’m not a mind reader) besides one I know of – including me. I won’t be shelling out money for something when I’m not even wanted at their shin dig. Plus that takes my guest list for same kind of shin dig from 63 to 62.

I just had to get that off my chest. I can talk to other people all day long about it but until it’s down on what could be considered “paper” – I would still think about it. Now that it’s out I can just not worry about it and I won’t feel bad for revising my guest list. Now – my question to you is – do you keep grudges? Do you always think in the back of your mind “She said this” or “She did that” and can’t let it go? If so – why? I’m not like that – I see people pretty often that have pissed me off on more than one occasion and I still speak to them.

Keeping all that anger and those grudges inside of you makes you an ugly person on the outside and ugly people are well – you know. Also there is this.
When you think about it – even though said person dislikes us so much – they think about us all the time and I don’t worry about them one bit. If anything – I kind of feel sorry for her.

xo – S.J.

Psstt: Picture is from here (which is Pinterest).

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